Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
