hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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