Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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