There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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