I wish life had little blips of pornography
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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