I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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