I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
