When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize