the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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