What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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