I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize