Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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