My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
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Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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