whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
