sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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