woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
