I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
