Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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