Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
