My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
