I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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