my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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