We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Blood and glitter go together right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
