I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
