is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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