Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
