operation harelip BJ is a go
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
