You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.