He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
3 2 1 whiskey
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.