on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.