fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
