what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
