hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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