Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made him laugh his dick is mine