K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY