omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep