erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.