Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize