awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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