There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
BRING THE BAGELS
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food