I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
