Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
