i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
