On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
