Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
