This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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