found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
