omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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