i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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