I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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