You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
