Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows