Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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  (952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak http://tfl.nu/wxhv
  Replies (29) Good night (872) Bad night (969)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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  (571): i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms. http://tfl.nu/yba6
  Replies (21) Good night (6094) Bad night (892)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her

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  (678): SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her http://tfl.nu/v70p
  Replies (20) Good night (2918) Bad night (4262)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.

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  (210): Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material. http://tfl.nu/16u9
  Replies (66) Good night (5603) Bad night (2711)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
  Replies (38) Good night (4031) Bad night (2253)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today

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  (847): The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today http://tfl.nu/8pjx
  Replies (7) Good night (2759) Bad night (967)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (2975) Bad night (910)
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  (714): View more from California

  Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

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  (714): Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee. http://tfl.nu/zv29
  Replies (16) Good night (2790) Bad night (1059)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

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  (317): I need to beat up a magician now. BRB. http://tfl.nu/9fa0
  Replies (12) Good night (1201) Bad night (532)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.

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  (251): PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/woue
  Replies (7) Good night (1182) Bad night (804)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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  (501): I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit. http://tfl.nu/ez6v
  Replies (0) Good night (833) Bad night (267)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.

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  (309): I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne. http://tfl.nu/l6oj
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (280)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.

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  (860): smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells. http://tfl.nu/aysq
  Replies (4) Good night (327) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize

  (1-415): View more from California

  Can I have the second place winner?

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  (415): I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize (1-415): Can I have the second place winner? http://tfl.nu/4f30
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (241)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all

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  (864): Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all http://tfl.nu/tzw9
  Replies (16) Good night (316) Bad night (983)

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