btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
