i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"