I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
