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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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• (716): View more from New York

  i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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• (917): View more from New York City

  under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk

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• (067): View more from

  I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible

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