remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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