I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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