I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
