So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
