did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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