I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
