It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
