hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
