Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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