if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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