I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
