when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
