Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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