Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize